People I admire David Tennant

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0xXXqbLOhn2KojUUymkdSM?si=9ce34142b4d743f8

So, I didn’t think I would make this post, but I think I need to for my mental health and I acknowledge that I need to make it and that I don’t know this person. But I have to say I admire their work and the way that they live their lives as a person.

Due to how we see many actors get political, we see them take the popular stance to not anger the woke mob. I know that he has a lovely family and actively keeps them out of social media, and he can keep his private life just that.  He has also navigated having a large family and a nonbinary child and rumour's about his sexuality with grace and that is something that I can’t say that I haven’t taken an interest in, and have to be honest and I have commented over on Tumblr about being a bad fan for seeing his wife post content without active consent, but I realize that I don’t know them and was in what I could consider a parasocial bond but I am realizing it's ok to have as an adult role models and people to look up to, and to aspire to be, and I see that this is a good thing. Since I honestly haven’t been my best self now.

So, I am working on being a better person and this is putting in the hard yards, so getting on a budget as now the only source of income is a government pension, and I would love to get off it and not be a burden, however, my support team does tell me I am not a burden as I do a lot of volunteering.

But I am talking about David Tennant since he seems to be so humble and talks about fear driving him and I get that negative emotions drive us forward more than negative emotions and being able to use them in a positive light is a real skill to work on.  

I tend to lash out online or to shut down as I have never learned to handle conflict I think it comes from not my family they have bent over backward to be able to help me and I have been an asshole in return so I am working on being much better and listening to people I admire is a part of that, but it’s crazy to hear that someone who is considered to be one of the best actors of our time and essentially took Dr. Who from a cult hit internationally to a worldwide phenomenon,  say it was crazy to lose his anonymity and privacy and that it wasn’t what he expected and that he is so humble and is willing to work.

I am also now seeing that everyone has pieces of their lives that they would love to do over relationships they wish went a different direction, and having ADHD I am hard on myself and try to mask it and it’s been hard for people in my life to accept my acceptance of it,  

But as part of being an adult and I am not even going to bring in the disability side, being an adult is working out what you need to accept as something that you can’t do and something that you can do or even with support, as I don’t drive but I have support workers and access to public transport but the public transport in my area is quite below par for a regional city as big as it is, and walking for me isn’t a great option.

 But I have gone on about myself for too long and I know that part of being an adult is working out what is good for me and bad some of the role models and ideas I have had about the world have recently been shattered so I am working on looking at a very different world view, not everything about my world view has been shattered but a few things have brought me down to earth.

Hearing David talk about having people to guide him being  “public property” and staying out of the Media gossip pages is a great thing but to hear him struggle with imposter syndrome for me a struggling blogger who is nearly 40 and trying to figure out where I fit into the world is difficult.  I am working on where I  fit in but for people with disabilities it’s a constant struggle and to hear that others do struggle with this is comforting, to hear and to hear that it’s something that you need to struggle with is amazing,  I have also written about him and I am ashamed to admit that I have the struggled to separate fact from fiction and spend a lot of time maladaptive daydreaming and I know that is time I can never get back, but I am working on really being better and in the daydreams I have a few projects that I am working on that have transferred over to things I am putting the hard yards into, so I am going to start working on.

But I see that actors a just like we and storytelling are what they do and I am wanting to join that world in a capacity more than I have been so it’s going to be a wild ride putting myself out there and going well if I want to play with the big kids I need to be one and start looking for a job in the arts and actively looking after myself and as part of that is acknowledge my reality and that is that I am socially isolated and that is my fault and that I have shit social skills and that I need to work on them, and that I do acutely fit into the social groups at a community center and that getting into the arts isn’t easy and to admit that as a second career, you want to do it is scary as the arts as we have seen is a very even when there aren’t strikes volatile career path.