Annie in wonderland

    Manifestation Day 4 I did remember to do it before going to sleep and I   have a meditation on my phone. I have found some on YouTube but there are plenty of Manifestation Meditations on Youtube, Spotify, or other audio apps.   I am finding that I am hitting a wall on this day due to my thinking not being clear. I don’t know if that is due to some things in my personal life that I am learning the hard way to keep private, but I am trying to manifest some things that I am willing to work towards,   and these I realize aren’t “ disability” things but they are   “ life development things.”   So I am trying to manifest a wider friendship circle, and deepening existing friendships through groups I attend, and leaving groups that no longer serve me. I am trying to heal some relationships that I won’t go into but I have realized that all relationships take work and sometimes that work is easy and sometimes it’s hard. I am also working towards not being entitled as well, this is a hard

    Let’s call this Day two for manifestation and I am working on believing in it, but I did forget for a couple of days. But as I have said before at the end of the day it’s a meditation and it helps me to relax, and to rest as I haven’t been the best version of myself. But this is helping me to be a better person and to not avoid difficult things, like getting organized I am seeing that there are some fundamental truths in my life that I won’t go into, but I have discovered that I have an avoidant personality, so I am looking at this and working with a mental health professional. I also seem to get paranoid and regularly implode my life and this isn’t great to do but I am starting to look after my physical and mental health such as walking and getting my ds appointments under control. I am trying to manifest a life where I have better relations in my personal life and where I am not avoiding my feelings, by really working on it to be able to get my life back on track, and this is

    I forgot to do the meditation last night, but I am noticing that even with the one I am actively looking for options and getting over what I could consider a pity party and I am using the tools and programs that are open to me to work towards my goals and to set aside what goals are unachievable to me due to my disabilities or illness. But I know that I just need to work harder and that also means asking for help becoming more resilient and not “wasting time” on the internet and making excuses. But I am noticing that I am starting to go after my goals and work to get my health back and that is including my mental and physical health, and this is including facing things that I don’t want to face such as conflict, but I am reaching out to people in my personal life to have friends that are a diverse network. I am also going to look at the mission drift on the blogs and YouTube and look at whether they are even worth the heartache of continuing. Please let me know if it is worth

    So, I am re starting an experiment that I have been doing for a long time and is manifesting. I have always thought of it as mumbo jumbo but I see that at the end of the day, it’s a meditation and can’t do much harm so I am going to document as a bit of accountability to what I am doing what I see happening, at the moment I can’t visualize or even pin down what I want in my life as I am afraid to ask the universe what I want and I have also been raised in the Anglican church and as a young adult I as a Pentecostal Christian until I heard some very uneducated comments come from some pastors and I was working. But this is day one and last night I did the mediation and it’s saying to do it for 30 to 60 days, so let's try it. At this point in time I am starting to get an idea that I want to have more friends and to be more social, to be reasonably well, to heal some rifts in my personal life, and to attract a significant other into my life and to get back into life and I know tha