Annie in wonderland

  In Viewing the views for my blog and planning out the content I see that I have a lot of US views and I do wonder why as I am very much entrenched in the   Australian culture and when I mention the NDIS, [i]   It seems to me that there is very little equliivant in the USA it seems to me that it’s state-based and this is the complexity of the issue is that we are talking over international lines and I understand that this can be quite confusing at times due to   The US tax system being very different at times. I am now seeing why people who leave the US say that they didn’t realize that what makes Australia so unique is how we look after each other, which is at times reflected in government policy. So we don’t have universal health care anymore but we do have a system called medicare where you get a rebate from going to the doctors or if you go to a state-based hospital your care is paid for by the state tax money. You can go to a private hospital but if you don’t have health

 This is such an interesting post to write about as I have grown so much as a writer in doing this blog and the trauma that comes into the Shadow world is very real and listening and spending time with people who work with people with complex trauma has given me a very different perspective on it.  So please I do welcome you to start the conversation on the blog and to suggest to me content ideas as well.   I  am now starting to look at this through a wider lens one that says that we are all humans and that these guys are human as well and that this humanity is what their relationship's so complex as well as the fact that they are willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of humanity. I see that this is a good thing however we do see that it comes at a price for most of them. In that, the mission comes first this could be as simple as finding out where demons are coming from or as complex as a mission to banish a greater demon back to the realm it came from in the shadow world. 

This is a continuation of a series around Maryse Lightwood and trauma however I am focusing on her growth in relationships as she has a lot of emotional growth around the time Magnus loses his magic and can see the error of her past ways and be able to support Magnus, and her family in a kinder more emotionally supportive way.  Without relationships, we can't grow as humans.  Maryse Comes To The Institute! - Shadowhunter 3x6 'Spend Some Time With My Wonderful Children!' - YouTube   This is such a great example of Shunning, we see that Maryse has been de run and has to find a new purpose in life. We do see her and Luke working in a bookshop that a warlock owned. ( a throwback to the books where Luke owns the bookstore). They can source information about a demonic artifact that could separate Clary from Jonathan.  So she can buy it and this is where Alec gets the idea to send Magus after his breakdown to help her decorate the new business  ( I have a very early post that I am

( Please be aware that this contains and talks about serious mental health issues and  Suicide  )  Alec Lightwood at the start of the show is very repressed we also see a very dysfunctional family that realizes how dysfunctional they are when they are under a spell that makes them see their worse fears play out and we see that Alec internalizes a lot and blames himself for things that he isn't responsible or he doesn't have the training to deal with.   Things like letting a demon into the institute result in a large number of Shadowhunters being harmed or killed.  His sister Izzy is one of them that ends up  possesses as well as himself and he ends up killing  Clary's mother ( this is a deviation from the books and was used as a plot device to have Clary come of age more dramatically)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqtbY89QfL8 We start to see the mental health burden on Alec that years of being told he isn't good enough play out in reality.   https://www.youtube.com/

So this is a post that I have really wanted to do for a while as we start to see Alec stand up to people in his life and standing up to your family is the hardest thing that you will do especially as a person with a disablity. As they want to protect you but you want to be challenged yourself to live your best life. However what that life is is different for everyone even without a disablity due to the decisions they made and the circumstance's that they where born into. Alec didn't make the decision for himself at what he was to be in life he was essentially born to be a Shadowhunter and that is his world. He even states directly that he will never understand "Mundane's," as his world that he has been brought up in is the Shadoworld.  We start to see the disapproval of his family as yes it would have been better to call off the Wedding to not embarrass  Lydia and his family, however we see that Alec really up until the last minute does believe he is doing the

  ALEC GRUMPY-CAT LIGHTWOOD - YouTube  - the hand movement is actually Matthew is a great portrayal from the books,  this is a great edit from the show and shows how Alec is actually the one who shoulders the responsibility of the Lightwoods, these are the family that run the New York institute.   This clip shows how Matthew Daddario the person who play's Alec nailed the role despite him not having blue eyes. He  notices that the  Shadow hunters are not very bright and their plans mostly fail and that this makes for great TV.  He shows the role by subtle but noticeable movements, that are mentioned in the books, things that stand out to me and others are,  The rolling of the eyes.  The rational mistrust of Clary  That he says what the others are not game to say.   Judging Mundane's, because they have a failure of imagination. There are also habits that Dom Sherwood has mentioned  during a recent podcast, that are both Matthew and Alec however it is mentioned that Matthews perso

 So I have been talking to my friends about this and this resonated with me so hard about emotions getting in the way and sacrifice as in my own life I wanted to have the same things that everyone else has but I have had challenges that no one else in my friendship group never has had to face. When I did try to "fit in," to the disability community in my area it made me realize that my upbringing was fundamentally different from others that have disabilities. I was expected to work or volunteer to not "mope around the house all day."  Like wanting approval from parents and teachers but not understanding the internal struggles that people who present with high functioning disabilities, have and the emotional trauma that can bring.  If you substitute the institute for society it sees that yes Alec is different and can't follow his heart, he is doing this out of duty,  not out of love out of what his society expects of him and this can be traumatic.  The thing that

 So I realized I was going so deep into scrolling into my phone at night it was starting to affect my sleep hygiene and this hasn't been great at the best of times.  I didn't even realize that it had a name. It is called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.  Revenge Bedtime Procrastination: Definition & Psychology | Sleep Foundation For me, it started when I had to move back to the family home and this came with a lot of issues that due to my health and disabilities we are still working through.  However talking with my care team made me realize that people with disabilities that don't work and are on benefits often have very little enjoyment and movies and the internet are the way that they interact with the world, this was even pre-pandemic.  So for me, I have charted my failure of getting back into a good routine, as I did want to do a complete digital detox but I live in an area where Covid is still very much a risk, and being a blogger doesn't help however I have s