Maryse Lightwood and Magnus Bane a lesson in grace Part four.

This is a continuation of a series around Maryse Lightwood and trauma however I am focusing on her growth in relationships as she has a lot of emotional growth around the time Magnus loses his magic and can see the error of her past ways and be able to support Magnus, and her family in a kinder more emotionally supportive way. Without relationships, we can't grow as humans.

Maryse Comes To The Institute! - Shadowhunter 3x6 'Spend Some Time With My Wonderful Children!' - YouTube This is such a great example of Shunning, we see that Maryse has been de run and has to find a new purpose in life. We do see her and Luke working in a bookshop that a warlock owned. ( a throwback to the books where Luke owns the bookstore). They can source information about a demonic artifact that could separate Clary from Jonathan. So she can buy it and this is where Alec gets the idea to send Magus after his breakdown to help her decorate the new business ( I have a very early post that I am going to re-visit about his breakdown)

We do see Andrew Underhill being an ally to Alec and his Mother, this is after Andrew was able to essentially come out to Alec and thank him for being so understanding, and Alec realizes how he can be an effective leader by being an example to others. A concept called servant-hearted leadership by Alec still being out in the field he doesn't lose touch with the other Shadow hunters, and they see that he is human and approachable, in the comments we see that he doesn't thank Underhill for standing up for his mother, yet he does do the head nod and we see him start to be much more approachable.

Shadowhunters 3x18 | Magnus helps Maryse in her bookshop - YouTube This is a great clip this episode is hard to watch, yet I now see why as I was going through very similar to Magnus losing a lot of what made me who I am. We see that Alec is keeping Magus busy and focusing on what he can do not what he can't. As he has lost his magic and his apartment, so is living in a very tenuis situation. Essentially he is homeless Alec is hosting him at the institute yet we see that this creates a lot of pushback. However, we see that Maryse is talking from experience about Trauma and losing one's sense of self as Magnus's magic was what made him who he was. Maryse at this point has established herself as an independent woman and a businesswoman as well. We do see that most people that are aware of the down world do run their own businesses. Due to needing to not put other people at risk so they employ another world.

Diversional therapy is a concept of using hobbies as a diversion or even as a training tactic for what is called strength-based learning. This is taking the strengths of the person and recognizing their need for self-determination, vs a duty of care that strengthens the person's ability to be well. To be able to live a good life regardless of what they have gone through at times.

It also places the dignity of the person at the front of the mind believing that if a person has all of the information they need to make an informed decision they can do it. This is a new approach to disability and mental health care believing that they can be a part of the community and it is of benefit for both the person and the community to be challenged by having the person be an active part of the community. This is an evolving argument however the more we learn about the brain the more we are realizing that we are medicalizing a range of normal human experience's as humans grow through pain. If you deny the pain of growing up or protection it stunts people's emotional growth. This makes sense when you look at Magnus through the lens of a person who has gone through trauma as it never ends for him so he turns to substances his main one we do see is Alcohol. It is an escape for him as it is a curse for him that he is immortal and yet losing it he realized how much of that made him, who he was. So he gives up drinking and many people find a new sort of clarity in getting clean, yet they are also seen to be in recovery as a relapse is always possible.

Shadowhunters Season 3, Episode 18 | Sneak Peek: Magnus Ships Maryse & Luke | Freeform - YouTube I love this clip and use it as a distraction from chronic pain as I live with Neuropathic pain and this shows that Magnus's true self away from his magic, he is still name dropping and his flamboyant self, but he is interested in other people. As we see that he sees that he can learn from Maryse just as much as she can learn from him. So they are learning together, a way to live in a new way. It is almost parallel to a person being de-institutionalized. We see that Magnus is still very perceptive in the way that he can read people, but at the same time, he is no longer keeping his distance. This vulnerability is what makes human interaction valuable. It's not the great milestones of life but the little moments that could pass us by if we aren't aware of them. Yet if we don't have people who we can be our true selves with like Magnus we see in the first series masking his true self, with Partying, and substance abuse, and when he so desired to use his Magic for payment there were friends in his life but not a great lot of substance, it was a very hedonistic lifestyle.

As Magnus is immortal it is stated that they have to keep themselves stimulated or they can age and wither in their powers. ( a post on warlocks is in the mix I am an ADHD brain so much like a warlock I need to keep myself stimulated yet am trying to learn how to relax as well. )

Reading this post.

Diversional & Recreation Therapy Australia (DRTA) (diversionaltherapy.org.au)

What is Trauma-Informed Care? - University at Buffalo School of Social Work - University at Buffalo

Shunning - Wikipedia

Strength-based practice - Wikipedia

Duty of care - Wikipedia

Emotional pain: The pain that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (psychology-spot.com)

The dignity of risk - Wikipedia

Deinstitutionalization - Wikipedia

The Power Of Vulnerability Book Summary by Brené Brown (shortform.com)

Hedonism - Wikipedia

Are You "Emotionally Stunted???" - alcoholism-addiction-psychology