Alec and trauma
So I have been talking to my friends about this and this resonated with me so hard about emotions getting in the way and sacrifice as in my own life I wanted to have the same things that everyone else has but I have had challenges that no one else in my friendship group never has had to face. When I did try to "fit in," to the disability community in my area it made me realize that my upbringing was fundamentally different from others that have disabilities. I was expected to work or volunteer to not "mope around the house all day."
Like wanting approval from parents and teachers but not understanding the internal struggles that people who present with high functioning disabilities, have and the emotional trauma that can bring. If you substitute the institute for society it sees that yes Alec is different and can't follow his heart, he is doing this out of duty, not out of love out of what his society expects of him and this can be traumatic.
The thing that gets me about this is that known pick up on this until Max's rune party. This to me is a classical example of masking, Masking happens in people with mental health issues, ADHD, Autism, and people who have gone through brain trauma, we are expected to be normal as we "present," as normal, and meet milestones in a normal manner.
Yet as we have seen in the past couple of years people have been questioning what is normal. I was at Church and it was an interesting discussion to have about what is normal and we came to the conclusion that normal is a cycle on a washing machine.
In the discussion around what is normal as we have seen how fragile life is during Covid and the shutdowns and other impacts, it has had on people. I know that I realized how isolated I was through my own actions had made myself. So I am currently back with my parents as my disabilities are having more and more impact on my life, yet we are working on planning for my future and I have put in a lot of effort to join society and clubs to make friends that share the same outlook as myself and I see that everyone has some issues.
Covid has been a wake-up call for so many people, including people with disabilities and their caregivers. Or if they decide they don't need a caregiver but have that realization about care and work. As many people with disabilities gain purpose from work, Alec's whole identity is grounded in him being a shadow hunter. His whole world is shaken when Clary comes into it as he seems to only work. So we are led to believe that he finds his identity in his work as this is what he was born to be.
He also seems to be able to relax around Magnus yet it seems to be a thing that Alec is the reasonable one and as the show and books progress, he opens up to Magnus but how to open up and accept himself and then having to accept disapproval as he is always following duty to his family, and this world isn't the most accepting of same-sex relationship's and this is also traumatic for Magnus in a different way as he is immortal, but knows he can't help every "broken bird," yet when Magnus is trapped in valentine's body, he is tortured and this leads him to not be able to sleep, the show does deviate from the books a bit in the way it portrays the trauma of Magnus essentially killing his father, but in the books, his step father tries to drown him and this forces his hand. Much like a ritual cleansing through water, or a Child's baptism into a religious community so they are then recognized by God as we do see that this world is a Judeo - Christian one in its recognized core values and one that has very real demons, as this is why the Shadowhunters exist. As Jace says to Clary that the 5 major religions recognized the threat of demons when they were looking for a weapons cache of weapons in a graveyard. ( I do remember that in the books the weapons were in a Church near the Alter ) " Yet over the years, there was a typical failure, of mundane imagination." This shows that they have a total lack of respect for the "Mundane" and this goes into Alec and masking as he is going along with Jace due to having to seek answers for Clary.
This clip shows that Alec has grown so much from what the "Shadowfam," calls Alec "grumpy cat lightwood," to caring for the people around him and understanding what his boyfriend needs at the time. As we see him go from being grumpy as well as the only person who is asking sensible questions about where Clary had come from, as well as why she had so suddenly come into the world. Through Jace yet without Clary, I do wonder if he would have met Magnus as we see him really grow into himself and find his identity in being a whole person and not finding his the whole identity in work as we see Magnus teach Alec to relax as we do see Magnus say that " If you don't take time for yourself you will forget why your fighting at all," so we see that he through relationships Alec starts to heal from his Trauma yet at times we do see him responding in native ways to Magnus as we see that this is due to him constantly being told he was never good enough for his parents. We do learn this and we see this Alec has trouble trusting people as a result of his traumatic upbringing.
Shadowhunters | Season 2, Episode 15: Magnus Opens Up About His Childhood | Freeform - YouTube
This clip shows us that Alec has been able to deal with, Magnus's help, and to help him with his own issues we see that Magnus is using mindfulness by looking in the mirror when drinking his tea. We also see that Alec is accepting of Magnus and is insistent Magnus isn't evil, however, we see that we all have an ability to do evil things even as humans. Magnus is half-demon and is capable of controlling, demonic magic weakness yet we see that he is the most compassionate person we see in the Shadow World, yet he does have his moments of weakness. Where we do see that he has some suppressed anger issues, Yet he can control it it's only when Magnus reaches the end of his patience that we see that he lashes out.
Reading for this Post ( Edited on the 8/6/2022)
Magnus Bane | The Shadowhunters' Wiki | Fandom
What Is ADHD Masking? How to Stop Masking Adhd? (calmsage.com)
Are You Building a Positive Work Identity? | Psychology Today
Judeo-Christian ethics - Wikipedia
Respecting Other People's Opinions: Encourage Dialogue, Not Hostility | Psychreg
Feeling Unloved as a Child? 11 Effects on Adulthood and How to Heal (psychcentral.com)
(1) What does it mean if I have an evil streak? - Quora
5 Symptoms of Repressed Anger | Psychology Today
French Couple Discovered WWII Cache of Weapons Hidden in Their Home (warhistoryonline.com)
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