Manfestation day 3 how I am going.
Let’s call this Day
two for manifestation and I am working on believing in it, but I did forget for
a couple of days. But as I have said before at the end of the day it’s a
meditation and it helps me to relax, and to rest as I haven’t been the best
version of myself.
But this is helping me to be a better person and to not
avoid difficult things, like getting organized I am seeing that there are some
fundamental truths in my life that I won’t go into, but I have discovered that
I have an avoidant personality, so I am looking at this and working with a
mental health professional. I also seem to get paranoid and regularly implode
my life and this isn’t great to do but I am starting to look after my physical and
mental health such as walking and getting my ds appointments under control.
I am trying to manifest a life where I have better relations
in my personal life and where I am not avoiding my feelings, by really working
on it to be able to get my life back on track, and this is something that
Support workers can help with. I am really
going deep with them and sometimes asking for help is the most adult thing you
can do, and that might be going to a mental health professional. To deal with
what you are thinking is one thing I have seen that I thought was a bad thing
but it is if it’s the only driver but it’s to be driven by fear, and you need
to realize that you are not your emotions.
I have talked about
it on my other blog, about people I admire and one person that despite being in
my late 30s and turning 40 next year, I am a fan girl of David Tennant, and seeing
him in his video diaries when he was recording Dr. Who and hearing him receive his
horary doctorate of drama from his drama school,[i]
and him receiving countless awards, and one that stands out is his special
recognition award, he was looking around for the Scottish actor not realizing
he was probably about to get an award, he was so humble when I actively went
looking for bad press about him, the only thing I could find was Tumbr blogs and
they might be accurate as they do their homework and observation in actors but
we need to realize that we don’t know the person. Also, but I am taught never to consider social
media a primary source unless it’s the actor's official account but even then,
I see that it needs verification.
But when I went diving,
I really couldn’t find much and the only thing I could find was the possibility
of him using nonbinary pronouns on his wife’s Instagram account, and the fact
that he has never tied his shoelaces in his video diary from Dr who we did see
even then a producer had to force him to tie his shoes.
But I think with the non-binary pronouns it’s probably habit
as they have a non-binary child and they have navigated this with class and
dignity I want to do the same, but I have had to accept that I have
difficulties that he doesn’t and I see that he is afraid as a motivator as well
and for an actor this is rare,
But you’re probably wondering what this has to do with manifestation,
well it’s me actively looking for people, to have as role models in my life and
questioning my behaviours and making changes, not masking but within acceptable
“quirkiness” to be able to accept my limits and to push threw them and to ask
for support when needed.
But it’s a change in that I am not avoiding planning for my
future and to a point I am being accountable, there are some things that I need
to change and it’s due to me becoming entitled and this needs to stop so I am
despite being tired and having cold like symptoms due to having my covid
booster, I am pushing through like so many parents support workers and others
just push through and at times you can’t and need to rest but at others, you
need to be able to stretch yourself out a bit and to not get lost in the TV or electronics
and accept that you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge and I don’t know
David personally and it would be weird if I did but he is on my list of people
I would love to meet at a comic con, but we do see that people need to be aware
that you can change and make changes if your willing to ask for the help needed
to be able to do so.
It makes sense that he has lead a wholesome life and that he has all the good things that he deserves
due to hard work, and talent. I have had to give up what I was good at but after
posting this I am going to start working on some study, and generally getting organized and working towards
being an adult and I have accepted that I am an adult with disabilities but I
did start to use it as an excuse so I am actively working towards figuring out
if its an excuse or a reason for doing things and this will always be a day to
day struggle.
It's something that when I am listening to David clips and podcasts,
I see that he struggles to relax but I relax but my mind is racing and by doing
this meditation manifestation it’s starting to clarify what I want in my life.
I know that I am starting to get personal about this, but I am going to be open
without involving the people in my personal life. When watching his reaction to receiving his special
recognition award, for outstanding achievements
in acting he didn’t realise it was him and what stood out to me was that he was
so humble about it and felt that he didn’t deserve it, but he deserves everything
he has worked for and I am getting out of a funk and starting to work towards
what I want and it’s not about wishing you had it it’s working towards having
it.
(1)
NTA 2015 Special Recognition - David Tennant the Reaction - YouTube
Comments
Post a Comment