Life lessons and rambles about life with a disablity.

 

So, I debated long and hard this post about writing due to the people involved and we are still dealing with the fallout, but I will do my best to censor myself and not throw myself under the bus. The first thing I need to say is that I am no angel and get tired of advocating for myself.  In the same organization.

Most people who have disabilities that are in the higher functioning range are sick of hearing it, and sick of telling support workers what they need, or even being dictated to by agencies, But what happens when a support worker abuses their power and this happens more than you would think to the point that there is a term for it due to the prevalence, Its called being care resistant and it means that everyone when the client finally accepts care they have to do extra work to gain the clients trust due to the fact that they can’t trust the very people who are supposed to care for them. [i]


I have on YouTube and on this blog written about being abused by support workers and I repeat that I am no angel but when you are not game to ask for help or have a person whose support isn’t their path it creates trauma, and this can take a long time to repair as they need to be aware that there is what they call behaviours of concern in my life and I have masked these for a very long time and this is where I am considered very high functioning to the point I  accepted that I was different as a child but never re questioned it as an adult now I am questioning it due to some behaviours in the past that aren’t ok but how didn’t I control them and it was due to one support worker that happened to be related to management. I won’t say where it was as I don’t want to retraumatize myself but let’s just say that I know she is having to accept like the rest of her generation that she is going to have to work, and that working with people with disabilities isn’t easy as there is lots of different challenging behaviour’s, due to a complex combination of factors.

 That could be there disability, there mental health, their physical health and there family dynamics, think about someone who has little to no family support or the family is separated by physical distance, in a housing setting compared to someone who has family support [ii]and has been able to make something of themselves so is able to work, or to run a business or volunteer vs  your whole social life being centred around the day centre due to your background.

Both of these are challenging in their own ways due to the person way they were brought up, funding and the simple fact of safety is it safe for the person to be left on their own. So this could be another thing to consider and reflect on, but we are seeing a greater awareness to what support work is and it’s not easy and for someone to come into someone’s house is a big deal you need to feel safe and secure in your own home and to get on if you live with flat mates, or even if the person is in a romantic relationship this can be another issue all together due to the fact that this makes people uncomfortable but people with disabilities do want romantic relationship and do have sex.

So how do we mange that with other peoples need and right to privacy, also the fact that it’s someone’s work place this is an ongoing discussion and I am seeing campaigns over on LinkedIn around support providers not dictating what you do and being able to go out and to stay up late, it’s a great idea to consider what your support providers are saying but they can’t protect you from natural consequences of your actions.

There needs to be the correct paper work in place to be able to restrict someone’s access to things that a person with a disability would have access to so this being there house, food, education and to people as well as using chemical restraints on them, so we are seeing a push towards having restrictive practices removed but I know of some cases that the support worker wouldn’t be able to support  a person without them, at times and this person isn’t exactly attached to reality so they need 24/7 support and they do have behaviours of concern.

I know in going back to mine aren’t extreme but can come from left field at times and come from many years of being required to do what is called masking, this in very basic terms is [iii] putting on a mask to fit in the non-disabled world and then having to put another one on when I go into the “disabled community” as the disabled community is very much stratified in my part of the world and that is a whole other blog post about the disabled community but within it there is a lot of politics and cop outs due to  people not knowing the difference between a disability as a reason and a disability as an excuse, I am not saying that every person with a disability should be working full time and an inspiration to others, but being able to take some level of accountability, for their actions.

So this for me looks like taking accountability for blowing up at a support worker and being the truth teller, I know that blowing up at her was wrong but it exposed what she wasn’t doing in her job and believing that she could get away with it in that she was related to management,  and was signing off on shift notes that she had done tasks that she hadn’t and had put the residents at risk due to the house not being up hygiene standards and my house mates behaviours of concern getting worse as well as her jealousy due to me having a much healthier support network than her. 

Also we need to remember that in general that  people aren’t going to like everyone and if they do  there could be a couple of things going on, one they are a people pleaser, they  like you or they need to respect you and be polite due the fact that they work with you or you have power over them so this is where we circle back to support work, in that support workers can hold an enormous amount of power over people and forget it’s about support and helping them to grow and be independent, and independence doesn’t look like doing everything for yourself as even people without disabilities need to ask for help at times and have a village around them, or that is the ideal. 

So many people see that what we perceive as co-dependence in society isn’t co-dependency it’s actually interdependence and this is much more complex than people expect it to be as interdependence is healthy.

Its healthy due to the fact that its what we as humans both disabled and no disabled should aim for so this being that we are able to do things for ourselves but when we need help, we ask for it and accept it but accept others boundaries and limitations at the same time.

One thing that I have had to accept is that in my singleness ( I do have someone I like but not game to admit it to them openly) I have known that I am there first priority  and this is ok that I have to wait until people have time to do something with me and this for me is where support workers fill this gap of companionship, helping me to edit the blog and YouTube and to help me to keep my life on track, both in a practical sense and a realtionship since.

I Know that my team now knows my need and behaviours and quirks it really does work better for me and asking for help and being interdependent isn’t the same as taking advantage of people and I will leave you with this example but I am going to do a whole other blog post on this. I have a support worker that is younger and has elected to do the breakfast shift due to them being a higher rate and it provides both her my housemate and myself stability and routine after having nothing due to me behaving like a spoilt brat, but she comes down if I haven’t got myself up and she makes sure I have a coffee then gets my house mate up and makes sure she is on track for going to the day centre and then she comes down and makes my lunch with me.  So this is the question am I taking advantage of the support worker due to the fact that I am capable of making my own lunch, but I am at the same time likely to make what can only be called chaos  lunches and they won’t sustain me, so she knows that I am eating and guiding me to healthy chooses and this then allows me to be able to help her by hanging out the washing in thee house as well, so to me this is accepting support and guidance and it’s hard to accept help as an adult but this younger support worker has such dignity and grace that she knows what support really is, so we need to be able to have the conversation around what is and isn’t taking advantage of a support worker and what is being lazy. As what one person could consider lazy the other person might consider smart or even efficient.

It's a crazy world to dive into and this will be my coming content.

 

 

Comments

My most popular posts.

Isabelle Lightwood and Trauma part three - Shadowhunter's

Why I can't learn to love my disablity

What a support worker can do for you and what the can't part one my story with support