Alec, Magnus and Maryse a lesson in healing.



This is a continuation of a series I am doing on the relationships in the shadow world, as I see that it can cause trauma and help heal trauma as we see that it's not only the young shadow hunters that grow up and face their reality it is everyone in the Shadow world.

As well as the fact that the Show and books have left a lasting legacy, not just fandom but the "Shadow family," I admit that I am not the typical age for Young Adult content but I grew up with the books and the reality is they and the shows dealt with a lot of real-world issues, and we are finding that a lot of people like young adult content in books and shows anyway as it is a way to connect with the younger people in there lives. If you are a part of the Shadow family feel free to comment about what your take is on the way that I am seeing the characters and how it relates to "reality," whatever that be for you. 

Alec asks Maryse for the Lightwood ring | Shadowhunters 3x16 - YouTube

I love this clip as it shows that Maryse has accepted that Alec is gay and is taking interest in other people.  So being prepared to ask Magnus to marry him is a huge step for Alec and the family as it was a huge journey for them to accept that he was gay and dating a down worlder and one that had a reputation as a Lothario in the Shadow world. Yet we now know that isn't true of Magnus now as he was in the past and when we get to see his story it makes sense that he is seeking experiences not connection yet Alec is giving him connection and helping him to fight for what he wants.

 She sees and Accepts that Alec is in love.  Yet I know that there is a comic con of Harry Shum Jr( the actor that played Magus )  saying that why is no one stopping Alec and making sure that he is checking in with  Magnus at this point in time is struggling majorly with all of his losses, so he turns to drink. Yet he has lost his warlock tolerance to booze as he says at the dinner, this dinner and the thoughts around Alec planning it deserves its own post) 

 This turning to drinking is very common in people to not turn to other people but to turn to substances to avoid pain, in the previous post I talked about pain avoidance, yet this is what Magnus is doing. However, Maryse sees how happy Alec is so is encouraging this love. 

Having this love is celebrated and this is in stark contrast to the first season where we see Maryse horrified that Alec was infatuated with a down world. It was a massive fallout for everyone in the family.  Yet we did see Magnus saying to not underestimate parents' love and to give them time. However Magnus really hadn't had a loving parent, yet he has parented many worlders we see that he found his mother dead at the age of 10 and killed his stepfather it is questionable what happened next as in the books his stepfather tried to purify him by water, almost like a baptism, into a Catholic or Anglican church.   Where a person's soul generally a baby is saved. Yet Magnus being part demon lashed out and killed his stepfather.   So he has to live with this and we see that it is his worst fear and Alec did accept Magnus's "ugly side of him." So by Alec accepting Mangus not just as part of him but his past and his future, Maryse accepts that he is part of the family.   So for Magnus, it was killed or be killed. 

Yet we see Maryse have what you would call a radical acceptance for both parties an acceptance of Alec and his decisions, as well as his life partner,  as she is the first series trying to force him into an arranged marriage, love can grow from these yet it wouldn't make him happy, and he would be lonely all of his life as we do see that Maryse accepts Alec due to her having to divorce Robert because she was cheated on.   Yet by doing what needed to be done we see that she has accepted that she needs to accept her past and learn from it, as she does as Magnus in the bookstore tells her that Alec thought we could learn from her shining example.   They know Magnus has a past but he now has a future Alec gave him back life, 

Shadowhunters 3x20 | Alec tells Maryse he broke up with Magnus - YouTube 

In this clip, we see that Alec is hiding what he had done and the reality of why he has done it from his family, only a couple of people knew he was going to propose to Magnus. Jace and Maryse, I believe are the only ones who knew.  He made a decision about what was best for Magnus, yet it did make Magnus miserable as the cost to regain his magic was to both parties, and it had a flow-on effect in that we see how reliant the Shadow hunters were on Magnus for not only his Magic but his advice, we see that Alec is prepared to make the sacrifice but that Maryse isn't satisfied with the answer that Alec gave and knows that there is more to the story and seeks out Magnus. 

Maryse and Magnus scene | Shadowhunters 3x20 - YouTube We see that Maryse isn't happy with the answer and this clip explains a lot as she is going to fight for her son's happiness, we see that Asmodus is in the apartment, Yet we also see that Magnus has his Magic back and is whole by Shadow world standards. Maryse also can reassure him that he was just as whole without his magic, and not a lesser being than Magnus thought.  Like many people when they go through a loss go through the stages of grief, so Mangus has accepted his circumstances and can continue with his life yet he has a moment of clarity when he realizes what Alec was trying to do and that he was going to ask him to marry him he starts to realize what a sacrifice that alec has made for him, and who made him do it.  This was a very unintended consequence that Alec couldn't see Magus waking up to what Asmodus made Alec do for Magnus.  As in the past, Magnus sacrificed his magic for Alec to save Jace and this is what lead to Alec doing what he did.   

Reading for this post 

Lothario - Wikipedia

Stonewall Medical Centre – Sexual Health Clinic Brisbane

Family Rejection of Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Adolescents & Negative Health Outcomes | Family Acceptance Project ® (sfsu.edu)

Baptism - Wikipedia

Radical Acceptance | Psychology Today

Arranged marriage - Wikipedia

Five stages of grief - Wikipedia

Unintended consequences - Wikipedia


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