Magnus and Alec healing from trauma.

 So this is a post that I have been wanting to write for a while, it is an interesting one to get into and I went deep down the rabbit hole that is the "Shadowhunter's fam". But there is so much in this show that isn't overt and one thing that hasn't really been explored in the Magnus and Alec relationship is that they both help each other heal from trauma.

Psychological trauma - Wikipedia 

 Magnus is a magical warlock that presents as a male, who has been in an abusive relationship. While Alec has been brought up to suppress his emotions and in the TV series was willing to go into an arranged marriage to save his family name (a bead or lavender marriage). We see from the first season that Alec cares for Magnus and doesn't presume as the other Shadowhunters do that Magnus can use his magic to fix things. He realizes that magic can come at a cost to people and this cost can be on the person itself. This is an overreaching theme in the TV series but not so much in the books.  In the Tv show, Alec seems to try to care for Magnus as a being first taking what is called a person-centered approach in disability care. 

I do realize that this does change in the course of both the books and the TV series, as the Tv series did change a few things from the books because of ratings and what could translate into that medium. The producers have said that there were many topics that they couldn't do because of the cost to produce the episode. 

Shadowhunters | Season 1, Episode 1 Music Clip: "Rose" | Freeform - YouTube 

These clips show a party side of  Magnus owning the club, partying, and having an entourage. This is him hiding his pain and lack of direction by partying, and drinking as he is hiding from himself.  This is what a lot of people do, they keep busy because they don't know how or want to deal with the reality that they have trauma in their life. As a society, we are becoming more and more trauma aware and this is being portrayed more accurately on screen this world showed it in a dignified manner and this is a great way to introduce trauma-aware practices into popular media. 

When Magnus is first shown on screen, people tend to think that he is the bad guy and in the books, he has done some questionable things but he is as complex as the Shadowhunters themselves that do very questionable things. This isn't helped as they are being self-governed, they seem to bring questionable practices into their ranks and create trauma to the Down Worlders themselves (The Down Worlders are vampires, fairies, warlocks, and another half human half demon creatures). 

Shadowhunters 1x04 | Malec first meeting - YouTube - When we see Alec meeting Magnus he is a mess! He feels an instant attraction but suppresses any attraction that he feels. Because he has been brought up that emotions are a distraction and that being same-sex attracted is 'wrong'. This is traumatic for many people and is explored in a very gentle way in the books and show, however, in the show, it is more dramatic how the relationships start. 

We do see that  Magnus is attracted to Alec Lightwood and that Alec is the spitting image of another Shadowhunter that Magnus had interactions with (Will Herondale). In the books, he is described as having black hair and blue eyes as the Herondales and Lightwoods are related to each other.  People have criticized that Matthew Daddario (Alec) didn't have the blue eye but this is a minor fact in the show, as they explore this link in another way and if it was possible for a 4th season they would have explored it more. However, this isn't the only attraction for Magnus. 

 Both Magnus and Alec want to find out what this attraction they have for each other is. But to follow this attraction would be dangerous as Magnus has a deep mistrust of Shadowhunter due to the way his life has played out. due to interactions with other Shadowhunter's in very different times and it confused him when Alec would willingly share his strength with him and it was simply a way to see Alec again and we see that Alec initially trusts Magnus when he is offered what we assume to be his first alcoholic drink. 

 Magnus is surprised that Alec helped the Warlocks out of compassion not duty and this is what makes this generation different,  as Magnus has a deep mistrust of Shadowhunter and this is seen and made very overt, in the course of the series, both in the TV show and the books as Magnus gets sick of being the Shadowhunter's pet warlock because he is dating Alec both in the books and in the TV show we see Magnus break up with Alec because of the way Alec is treating him, there is also an age difference that we see a very different level of maturity and experience in relationship's. This clip explains it really well as we see a compassionate side of Magnus in not pushing Alec as he knows that they are from very different worlds. 

Shadowhunters | Season 1, Episode 5: Alec & Magnus Talk on the Phone | Freeform - YouTube  - Magnus pursues Alec and is not rejected outright but is denying himself his feeling's due to knowing that if he doesn't follow orders he will be rejected, by his family. However, he doesn't shut him down completely.  We see Magnus growing attraction to Alec however we see Alec so focused, that one moment of distraction Clary sneaks out of the Institute ( the facility where the Shadowhunters live) 

Shadowhunters | Season 2, Episode 6: #Malec "I Don't Care Who You've Been With" | Freeform - YouTube,   This is an iconic scene in the show, as it portrays that they are willing to try to make what essentially is a very weird relationship work for them. As they discussed earlier that one of them had numerous relationship the other hadn't had one at all except for what was essentially an arranged marriage, and I do believe that in the past arranged marriage's for the Shadowhunters was a practice.  The developing trust and Alec wanting this relationship but at the same time wanting Magnus to not treat him any differently to the others he has been with. 

Magnus is also healing in this relationship as his last relationship was abusive and this was part of the reason he moved, he talks about this with another down order that I will do a post on. Later as Magnus seems to be the person who keeps the Down world together and settles disputes. Yet in trusting Alec he does make himself vulnerable and this is part of healing from trauma being able to open up and trust the other person, I think is their second kiss and to me, it shows a  softness that can't be described easily, and in the context of the show, Jace walking in shows how little they think of Magnus and that Alec is the only one who respects his boundaries but does in later episode's does make mistakes in their relationship.  I will talk about this in later posts. 

Shadowhunters 2x14 Alec Makes Announcement in Institute Season 2 Episode 14 - YouTube - how fast gossip can spread and how it can harm people, it seems like people seem to have it in for Alec and masking is how he survived, but with Magnus we see him be himself and this is a good thing that he is himself, throughout the series we see that Magnus despite being very flamboyant can command respect and doesn't let people use him as much as he got used to demands being made of him.  This is also part of the healing process as it seems that Magnus got used to being used and putting boundaries' around relationships is part of healing from trauma. 

This has so much more to explore around trauma and how either a relationship can be trauma bonding or healthy when both parties have trauma in their lives.