Annie in wonderland

    Manifestation Day 4 I did remember to do it before going to sleep and I   have a meditation on my phone. I have found some on YouTube but there are plenty of Manifestation Meditations on Youtube, Spotify, or other audio apps.   I am finding that I am hitting a wall on this day due to my thinking not being clear. I don’t know if that is due to some things in my personal life that I am learning the hard way to keep private, but I am trying to manifest some things that I am willing to work towards,   and these I realize aren’t “ disability” things but they are   “ life development things.”   So I am trying to manifest a wider friendship circle, and deepening existing friendships through groups I attend, and leaving groups that no longer serve me. I am trying to heal some relationships that I won’t go into but I have realized that all relationships take work and sometimes that work is easy and sometimes it’s hard. I am also working towards not being entitled as well, this is a hard

    Let’s call this Day two for manifestation and I am working on believing in it, but I did forget for a couple of days. But as I have said before at the end of the day it’s a meditation and it helps me to relax, and to rest as I haven’t been the best version of myself. But this is helping me to be a better person and to not avoid difficult things, like getting organized I am seeing that there are some fundamental truths in my life that I won’t go into, but I have discovered that I have an avoidant personality, so I am looking at this and working with a mental health professional. I also seem to get paranoid and regularly implode my life and this isn’t great to do but I am starting to look after my physical and mental health such as walking and getting my ds appointments under control. I am trying to manifest a life where I have better relations in my personal life and where I am not avoiding my feelings, by really working on it to be able to get my life back on track, and this is

    I forgot to do the meditation last night, but I am noticing that even with the one I am actively looking for options and getting over what I could consider a pity party and I am using the tools and programs that are open to me to work towards my goals and to set aside what goals are unachievable to me due to my disabilities or illness. But I know that I just need to work harder and that also means asking for help becoming more resilient and not “wasting time” on the internet and making excuses. But I am noticing that I am starting to go after my goals and work to get my health back and that is including my mental and physical health, and this is including facing things that I don’t want to face such as conflict, but I am reaching out to people in my personal life to have friends that are a diverse network. I am also going to look at the mission drift on the blogs and YouTube and look at whether they are even worth the heartache of continuing. Please let me know if it is worth

    So, I am re starting an experiment that I have been doing for a long time and is manifesting. I have always thought of it as mumbo jumbo but I see that at the end of the day, it’s a meditation and can’t do much harm so I am going to document as a bit of accountability to what I am doing what I see happening, at the moment I can’t visualize or even pin down what I want in my life as I am afraid to ask the universe what I want and I have also been raised in the Anglican church and as a young adult I as a Pentecostal Christian until I heard some very uneducated comments come from some pastors and I was working. But this is day one and last night I did the mediation and it’s saying to do it for 30 to 60 days, so let's try it. At this point in time I am starting to get an idea that I want to have more friends and to be more social, to be reasonably well, to heal some rifts in my personal life, and to attract a significant other into my life and to get back into life and I know tha

 So after the findings of the disability royal commission, we see that people are discovering what it means to be disabled in Australia and what the words we are throwing around mean and I discovered in cleaning up my blog and hard drive that I had this video on ablism, and it’s different for every person when they discover that they are disabled or start to identity with that labeled more and more as I realize that I have a TBI and have accepted it but I have only in the past  4 to 5 years accepted that a TBI is a disable and affects my life and the lives of the people around me as well. But what is ableism, it’s basically when people dismiss or invalidate a disability in assuming that most people can do things for themselves, and most people with a disability might have workarounds but some might need a lot of support to do very basic tasks. It heard much more about accessibility, so having places that are accessible is much more than a ramp to get in it’s  ooking at having sign la

    I am writing this on a Saturday, and I am getting used to the weather and changing my routine Given that I can’t drive I am reliant on others to drive me or to have workarounds such as public transport or taxis.   I am also grateful for people who will despite working long days listen to me or take me home or go walking with me as I make the effort to be a better person as I haven’t for a long time been my best self. I have been trying recently to defend my connection with others despite this being a challenge for me to connect with others. I do have a struggle with what is appropriate and what is an excuse vs what is a reason for me to need support and it’s a challenge that I didn’t realize until I started doing some background reading for this post to be aware that it’s a challenge for people, who also live with disabilities and being higher functioning to be able to accept the help.   It reduces the burden on the family as well, it’s just a question of how to use the support y

  So this is a post that I am not even sure will make it to publication but hey sorry there is not a nice way to say it, so I am going to come out and say it and this isn’t an attack as there are some amazing workers out there that do understand the assignment.  Some of you support workers need to go back to school.   A lot of support is basic common sense, don’t overcomplicate it, so some of the really basic things that you should know by the time you graduate high school are and I can’t believe that I am saying this, and some of you young ones need to get off your phone and learn about the reality of the world.   It’s not the LGBTIQ community that is the biggest minority in the world it’s actually people with disabilities and we don’t see the community celebrating our existence, we actually see them complaining about the cost blowout to the NDIS but do you know how many pages the final Royal commission report is? ( that is a whole other blog post.   But let me lay down some facts for

    I have realised I live with a certain low level of constant frustration that is starting to wear me down and it’s entirely my own fault. It to me seems to be a combination of major things coming into my life and some are my fault, but others aren’t, and they are something that I find incredibly wearing and I think that this is not talked about in society. So, I have been very honest and open about living with Chronic pain and the limitations it puts on me as well, but we also do see that there is something else that leads to frustration in people with disabilities lives and this is something weird that we really do need to discuss, it’s a combination of being disconnected from the rest of society. I know that the Royal commission will help with this, but we are seeing a definite normalization of identity and I really do respect that, but I am not seeing as much as a lean towards disability acceptance and we are seeing that people still think it’s ok to talk over us and not to amp

 <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4981013962895893"      crossorigin="anonymous"></script>   Hey all, I am taking a break from blogging and YouTube at the request of some people close to me. However, I need to say that I will be doing a one-off blog post on the Disability Royal Commission. I feel that we need space to process the outcomes and what is in the report and I feel like other disability advocates are much better qualified to talk about it than me, I am feeling the need to amplify voices that have been in the lead in the Disability Royal Commission, we see that people are still processing it and the larger term changes that it is going to bring. These changes are something that we need to be very much are needed but they need to be balanced with the needs of the larger community and changing attitudes towards people with disabilities, and how we are treated by professionals and the

  Hey all so I am going dark for 6 to 12 months I have said a few things that have really hurt some people in my life and I am going to concentrate on being and doing better I don’t know if I will re- start the blog but I will leave it up for now but there may not be any new content so I will see how things are going if there is something that I need to speak up on.