Annie in wonderland

  Why I can’t learn to love my disability My Disability is a part of me yet I can’t learn to love it, but I can learn to accept it. To accept that I will always be different. Be the person who will never have a normal life and whose family will get frustrated with me, because I used to be able to do so many things for myself, but now I can’t and will need support for the rest of my life. I can’t love it because of the way my life has played out, I can’t be an inspiration because it does hold me back in ways that frustrate me and my family as we always thought I could live a normal life, but I am coming to the realization I can’t and that this will impact me and everyone in my life. I never used to admit I have a disability and this in the long run hasn’t done me any favors.   I am what they call high functioning but high functioning doesn’t mean normal – it means that I appear to be able to do most thing’s for myself – but in reality, I can’t. High-functioning Definition &

 So I realized I was going so deep into scrolling into my phone at night it was starting to affect my sleep hygiene and this hasn't been great at the best of times.  I didn't even realize that it had a name. It is called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.  Revenge Bedtime Procrastination: Definition & Psychology | Sleep Foundation For me, it started when I had to move back to the family home and this came with a lot of issues that due to my health and disabilities we are still working through.  However talking with my care team made me realize that people with disabilities that don't work and are on benefits often have very little enjoyment and movies and the internet are the way that they interact with the world, this was even pre-pandemic.  So for me, I have charted my failure of getting back into a good routine, as I did want to do a complete digital detox but I live in an area where Covid is still very much a risk, and being a blogger doesn't help however I have s

  What it is like living with a neurological disorder. So this is going to be a bit of a more personal post as I live with several neurological disorders, as well as physical illnesses that interact in a weird variety of ways.   So we need to start with the basics, this explains very well what is a neurological disorder. Neurological disorder - Wikipedia   In later posts, I will go into treatments in a very broad sense and how they work and their side effects and not only physical side effects but social and emotional.  W hen someone is diagnosed with a neurological disorder their whole lives change and this includes their family and friends. In my case (and some of it is well deserved) thinking that having a large amount of control over my day is a good thing, if I want to do something different, I have to ask, and this and other topics have created a lot of issues for me.   I live in a semi-constant state of wondering who I have pissed off due to their reactions around me. So th

   So many people have said that the best thing that you can do for yourself is to never give up, but in the context of disability sometimes it is the best thing you can do, for your physical, mental, and emotional health.  Some really obvious things are:  Giving up trying to go at the same pace as others  Trying to achieve the same goals as others (this might be true for some but not others)  Trying to please others all the time - this might lead to others being angry because you are no longer a people pleaser and taking a risk. (I will do a longer post on this one as I am seeing so many people for the sake of having friends and support not understand the difference between friendship and being used)   Pushing yourself to be normal and being fatigued because of it. - This just doesn't work and can make your disability or illness so much worse  Seeing that work is the point of life and feeling guilty if you can't work - yet you still need a purpose in life, so that could be kee

 This is a continuation of the conversation I felt I needed to start around the way disability is seen and written about in the media. There are several issues that I have been made aware of that I see that this is a very complex issue and that there is no easy answer to it.  It can be very hard to not have it contrived as simply a way to move a storyline forward  So in moving a storyline forward in episodic TV and this is the major topic I see that there is little awareness of, it can be hard to follow several character arcs and if it doesn't fit the narrative it won't work long term.  This is why having a character with disabilities in a high school setting does work well, yet having a disabled person in a work setting you are limiting it to what stories can be told.  It can be hard to find a story that lives on its own merit  So in living on its own merit what does this look like in people with disabilities if it's not really a story from real life it can be seen as forc

  In a previous post, I have written about disability and media representation around disability in the media so it wanting to find out more I asked this question on  Quora and have received some interesting responses to it.  To me, it shows an awareness of people wanting to have accurate representation but not willing to risk ratings as the reality of media whether it be a blog, YouTube, free-to-air TV or on a streaming service, or pre covid at a movie theatre it is a business and it is there to make money. If the ratings aren't there it will get axed and add to that if an actor says anything wrong, it could cost the series and the production company a lot of money.  If they are a young actor and naïve they can generally be educated on the topic, but the question of disability and representation starts in the creative process so essentially in the writer's room.  Screenwriters and people working in writers' rooms how do you feel about writing disabled character's is it

   This is a topic that I never thought would get so much traction, yet it has generated over on Quora a lot of discussion about how people are represented in the Media. It really does seem that representation of people with a disability is the last frontier, we are represented but not in a positive light.   In fantasy and young adult shows it is shown as something that needs to be overcome or if it is a world that has magic as a part of it, something to be healed, by magic this adds to the shame that people with disabilities feel because they don't fit into society in a normal way or even have what is considered  a normal life path of  School  University/ Tafe,  Work Dating Family of their own.  there is also the issue of being different in a society that still sees disability as something to be ashamed of this is where representation matters to people. To see themselves on a screen, we have seen major leaps around  Diverse casting Diverse screenwriting  Having different styles of

    The national disability insurance scheme (NDIS or NDIA), this is an explanation for people who are internationally based.   As I requested some answers, I received some interesting responses about fighting through their disability and fighting for disability rights, in Australia. There has been a diverse range of answers, and some responses that seem to not have an understanding of what this program is as it isn’t really offensive, it is a program that helps people with a disability to live and receive the support they need to live a meaningful life. I was born out of the struggle of people with disabilities and their families realizing the reality of the lives the people with disabilities live that are often, plagued by compounding issues, that come with having disabilities. This program realized that people with disabilities need their wishes respected, and their care is appropriate for their age group, relationships, and decisions respected within their abilities to understa

  So I started off a series of posts both here and on Quora, around disability and the media, particularly on a series that I have come to love and the more I watch it, and read about it I see it as a product before it's time.  It forces people to think about issues that have existed for years but don't have any easy answers.  This is the Shadowhunter series, it generally is marketed at young adults and unfortunately was axed due to funding issues. It has been written about in academic circles, but not really discussed in independent sources.  Several character arcs have very different journeys. That tackles real-world issues, in a way that isn't in your face.  One is a disability and how to deal with the issues that come with being different, several characters go through massive changes in their story arcs, including a vampire that has others jealous because he can walk in the sun and therefore is labeled problematic, but people don't realize the issues this can come

   This one I can't stop myself from watching it. It's a great example of how people respond to trauma, especially when they lose what they see makes them feel like they are contributing to society,  and can hide what they really feel.  The people around them want to help but if you can't let them help you how are you able to be helped.  Yes, this is a Young Adult show but even the actors have said that this is a show that has resonated well with all age groups.  It talks about things that resonate when people get diagnosed with a disability or chronic illness and because of this their life fundamentally changes, so what now is the question. In Magnus's case, he has a built-in support network, and Alec forces Magnus to stay as he knows that this is what he needs. It also showcases the inherent power imbalance when a situation dramatically changes around what people see as normal, as in this case, Magnus loses his magic, decisions are made for him and people don't re