Magnus and Alec healing from trauma - More thoughts.

I am going to do a much more in depth look at how these situations can cause trauma and how they relate to real world. In other posts I have done a look at Alec and Magnus but this will be the start of a series on how these situations relate to the real world and how having trauma in your life can complicate things.
The first thing about this relationship is that Alec and Mangus both in the books and show have a very complicated relationship due to the fact that Magnus is immortal, and he has seen the way the shadow hunters treated down worlders, before the accords. They treated downworlders like second class people and even hunted them for sport at times.

 
So we see this struggle of how to keep a relationship alive when there is prejudice on one side and a long history of relationships on the other and how to balance this imbalance of power in the relationship. There also  is the struggle of him trying to keep his business and private life separate for a reason, it seems that he isn't really able to and this is traumatic for Alec as well as Magnus as he knows that he is trying to keep his personal and professional life separate for a reason. There are clips of the actors that play this couple, Magnus is played by Harry Shum jr and Alec is played by Matthew Daddario. They have said about that in several of the situations here that Alec in a business sense is actually doing the right thing.

That you don't go home and tell your partner very confidential information but that there is a better way to do this however given that Alec has never been in a romantic relationship and is fairly new to "official leadership," he is trying to do things by the book and this is a constant struggle as we see that things don't always go to plan, in the shadow world.

Theses clips are a very short over view of how the relationship plays out and how they manage to work things out. 
Shadowhunters | Season 1, Episode 5: Alec & Magnus Talk on the Phone | Freeform - YouTube - Magnus pursues Alec and is not rejected outright but is denying himself his feeling's due to knowing that if he doesn't follow orders he will be rejected, by his family. We are seeing Magnus pursue Alec but Alec pushing down his true feelings, but being open to some sort of relationship.

 
Shadowhunters 2x14 Magnus & Alec Malec Phone Call My Boyfriend Season 2 Episode 14 - YouTube 

This is the internal struggles of people wanting to keep professional and business separate. Magnus annoyed because Alec is caring about his family members that essentially abused him because they wanted to keep there political status that comes with the family name. This is Magnus struggle to see that the Shadowhunter's have changed. As they really haven't as Magnus says it runs in the family.

Shadowhunters 2x14 Alec Makes Announcement in Institute Season 2 Episode 14 - YouTube - how fast gossip can spread and how it can harm people, it seems like people seem to have it in for Alec and masking is how he survived, but with Magnus we see him be him self and this is a good thing that he is himself, over the course of the series we see that Magnus despite being very flamboyant is able to command respect and doesn't let people use him as much as he got used to demands being made of him. This is also part of the healing process as it seems that Magnus got used to being used and putting boundaries' around relationships is part of healing from trauma.
This has so much more to explore around trauma and how either a realtionship can be trauma bonding or healthy when both parties have trauma in there lives.

 
Season 2 Episode 15 - YouTube We see him worried about Magnus, asking him what is wrong letting Magnus be a safe place to land, for him, however Alec didn't realize it was him in Valentine's body and this is a challenge to Alec who has been brought up to follow the rules and that to push emotions aside. We see that Alec is so sorry for it but valentine has always been a head of the other Shadowhuters and this is what is challenging for Alec to believe that it was Magnus all along and we start Magnus open up to Alec about his childhood and essentially the abuse he has suffered and this is what makes this next clip so heart breaking.

 
Shadowhunters | Season 2, Episode 18: #Malec Talks In Bed | Freeform - YouTube - admitting he is afraid to lose Alec, that he appreciates him, this is the morning after there "first time," and Alec first time ever and this is and interesting contrast to Alec as before this night that he was only virgin of the group but he being the eldest of the group needs to be responsible and it is possible that if he didn't meet Magnus he would have been sexually frustrated all of his life, but he was also willing to go into an arranged marriage, in the show to rescue the family name, and this is an interesting deviation from the books and showing that how he had a rare moment of clarity, that produced what is some great TV viewing.

Shadowhunters 2x17 Magnus Mad at Alec Malec Fight "Season 2 Episode 17 - YouTube This clip is about the relic that has the power to cleans the world of demon blood and demon blooded creatures. Alec has denied this knowledge from Magnus. They had just had dinner and this was an opportunity to tell him about the relic. This also hammers home the point about trust Magnus up until this point trusted Alec due to his ideas to change the way that downworlders where treated. As Magnus has seen them be hunted by the Shadowhunter's being treated essentially as second class creatures.


Shadowhunters 3x16 | Alec at Magnus' bedside - YouTube - Magnus being sick losing his powers, Alec coming to terms with how much he was hurting and masking, the pain.