Maryse and Alec - The lightwood family dynamics Shadowhunters families.





This is a post that will focus on the relationship within the Shadow hunter's family the lightwood this is focusing on the development of the relationship that Alec has with his mother, as it goes from a very toxic and demanding one to one of two fully emotionally developed adults.  

As Maryse goes through a road to Damascus moment, in her life in being de ran, and essentially excommunicated from the shadow hunters and she needs help to adjust the person who helps her to do this is Magnus as he is going through a tough time himself, and this gives Maryse pause for thought in how she has treated people and her own family. I was going to do a post on the second season but for some reason, I can't bring myself to do it, I am finding that I have hit a brick wall, with this and I think I have very similar family members that I perceive are at me most of the time. I haven't made great decisions in the past so I am rebuilding my life as well and I think that this is why I can't seem to bring myself to do that post however I will do a retrospective on this when I have the space to do so. 

So Maryse's healing and her reality are not just hers but the whole family and this changes the dynamics in the family to a much healthier relationship, as she has to be the family's commander in the Shadow hunter world, yet now we see that she can be a business owner and a mother to her family.  We see when Izzy is talking about how they have discovered a Clave conspiracy she says to her family that she raised them to survive and not to get involved in this off-the-books program. Something called heavenly fire, (  I am working on that post as well as several others) 

 We see that people can have compassion for her being in the circle, an organization that was a breakaway group from the shadow hunters in Alicante the shadow hunters' homeland. This was due to Clary coming into the Shadow hunter's world and the Cave seeking out those who were involved in what they call the uprising. 

At the dinner, with Magnus, we learned that she carried out the bloody details of the uprising and that she actually accepts her punishment with great grace and dignity. To the point that she needs to stop Alec from being the sacrificial lamb to save her and her position.  This is called post-traumatic growth and this is common in people who have support to grow threw trauma, and how this can help people grow, in very different ways. 

As many people get stuck in a bad place however Maryse can buy the bookstore and run it well. This is a variation from the books, as in the book series it is Luke that has the book store and they can crash at his flat when on missions to find Clary's mother and later the mortal instruments. The instruments that can raze the angels that were responsible for the creation of the Shadow hunters.   

Yet we see that she is still well regarded by the people who are in charge of the institute's security and that they see that she is treated with compassion and dignity when coming to the institute to visit her children the only family that she has. 

Maryse Comes To The Institute! - Shadowhunter 3x6 'Spend Some Time With My Wonderful Children!' - YouTube

This clip shows how she is regarded and Andrew Underhill who we see as the head of security or is presumed head of security.  We see that they can respect Alec as the head of the institute, and he can make an exception as the head. This shows how respected Alec is during a difficult time, for his mother yet at the same time Magnus isn't respected so Underhill will make exceptions for the family yet is a stickler for the rules in the down world. I do wonder if Underhill had a crush on Alec as we do see Underhill talk about the separation of his personal life and his work life because he was gay as well. So Alec leading this way is a great thing as we do see Underhill saying about how he admires Alec because he is in a trusting loving relationship with a warlock, and we see that Maryse accepts this and apologizes to Magnus for her behavior in the past. 

Shadowhunters 3x13 | Luke & Maryse scenes 2 - YouTube

So this clip is when Maryse is looking for a job and had been excommunicated from the Clave, yet they are still looking for the relic that can separate Jonathan and Clary.  (Again another twist away from the books as it is Jonathan and Jace that are bound together and I am not sure by who so in the comments please let me know if there is anyone in the Shadow family that knows who was the person who cast this bond in the books) 

So they are on the hunt for records that would lead to this relic and we discover that Maryse was a warlock code weaver and that this is what she can do, she can eak the warlocks safe as they kept accurate records around the angelic, and Shadow hunter relics, as we see Magnus reference a time when down worlders were hunted for sport.  This is during the time of Angels and that is a difficult thing for the down worlders to reconcile.  Being with a shadow hunter and Luke at this point is a down worlder and we see that this is difficult for him as well as they are flirting with each other but becoming willing to see what happens. Like most relationships, it starts with honest open communication. Something that Maryse in the first season wasn't willing to have as she needed to be in control, now she has accepted that some things aren't in her control we see her become a much happier person and being able to seek some pleasure for her self and be a calm collected person.  Something that would take a person a lot of internal work to do how amazing she is in being able to accept this as it is difficult for people to accept that they were wrong at times. 

 Alec asks Maryse for the Lightwood ring | Shadowhunters 3x16 - YouTube

This is a great time and we see Maryse go from disgust at Alec being gay and infatuated with a down worlder to loving the fact that Alec has someone he wants to Marry and live a life with. I am wanting someone to do life with but if it happens it happens as I do have disabilities as well, but would love someone in my life I am generally on the wrong side of 30 for a  Marriage with kids but we see people getting married later in life so I am not putting it off the table in my life at all. 

So we see that Maryse says to Alec about Magnus that is what love is and to not let the people you love slip away I have done that in my life but I am taking each day as it comes and learning that married or unmarried I am valuable as a person and not just for what I can achieve but because of who I am I, see that I had a mask on hiding my disabilities and weakness so just like Maryse I have had my own moment of Clarity in being able to accept my past and move beyond it. 

Just like Maryse and Luke fell for each other after a loss as well.  I see that people meet people in all types of ways and it happened like that in the Shadow world as well, that Clary and Jace, Magnus and Alec as well as other relationships that we see came out of know where and life is what happens when we are making other plans.  We see that Maryse was the opposite of Joslyn where she was able to accept the Shadow world and raze her children within it however Joslyn wasn't able to do this and it changed the course of her daughter's life, as family secrets and lies were kept from Clary and this isn't a great thing to keep secrets from family as it harms people in the end and this is where we see that the Lightwood family knew the reality of there world and how it operates. 

They also made a decision to not keep secrets from each other as we saw the fallout from Alec not knowing that the family was in the circle and that they got out of it.  There were deals made and people that didn't know as it was forbidden knowledge about what happened in the circle and this is a whole other post around suppressing knowledge of history as those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. 

Background reading for this post

Post-traumatic growth - Wikipedia

Psychological resilience - Wikipedia

Morning Star | Shadowhunters on Freeform Wiki | Fandom

What happened on the road to Damascus? What is the road to the Damascus experience? | GotQuestions.org




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